So anyway, there I was divorced. It's 1988. My hair is grown back, I have short back in sides like, but full coverage. Still Blonde ! Enter into my life another life changing person...Lucy Gallagher. I also new Lucy till the day she died, I cared for her before and during that time. I became her adopted daughter and still am today as far as her tribe is concerned. She always said I was her third daughter, that it was no coincidence, and get this, she had two daughters, their names are Gaylene and Patricia. My name is Gaelene Patricia. Oh dear another Chapter. But long story short, she taught me much about life. how to economise, save money, be wise, build a future, how to read people well, discernment, and much much more.
And then I fell in love. Head over heals. Remember I have hair, but I still have the Eczema all over me. This man entered my life by chance which led to 20 years of me loving him. We would see each other on and off. He would come and go, you know what I mean. We chased each other for 20 years. He was a fisherman at the time. He moved to Tauranga port so I moved to Matamata where I became a Nanny and lived there for 5 years. He would come and he would go. Things fell apart in Matamata, I said Fuck the World ! Rented a house bus from a friend and went to live at Mahia. At a place called Waikokopu. The bus was parked by the inlet of water where the little fishing boats would park. It was me and my dog Suzie. I cut myself off from the world and people. We became beach combers for a year, it was 1993.
Then one day this man whom I'm not prepared to name, came one day wandering down my path to the bus. He always had a way of finding me, I never left a forwarding address. He came to tell me he had been seeing another lady for a month and she was pregnant. I'm like and why you telling me, I haven't seen you for a year !He left, at my request lol. About 2 weeks after he left, my precious hair began to all fall out again. It doesn't take long to be all gone, about a week. It was all too much for me. One night I actually considered walking into the sea and not coming back. Seriously? Yep. What stopped me ? My Dog Suzie !
The next day one of the locals tells me there is a healing meeting at the local Marae. Healing ?
I'm going of course. I rekindle faith, I get baptised in the local river with the scarf back on my head. I returned to Gisborne, moved back in with my Mum. I discovered there were five generations of suicides on my Father's side of the family. I was shocked, so my advice is, if you have depression, get help! Got a job at the Apostolic Church as their Secretary for 13 years, and the Nanny care-giver of two beautiful children Matthew and Phillipa Webb, who are a huge part of my life today, all grown up. And, in 2002 I brought my own home, with the help of my Mum. Then, a year later she passed away. OMG when does it ever end ?
By the time Mother passed away, we had made our peace and I loved her to pieces. She revealed a secret she had kept for 55 years that was life changing for me. I suddenly understood my mother. She had her own pain, terrible pain she had kept hidden for so so long.
Anyways, it being 2015, it is now 22 years since I lost all my hair for the second time. It has never grown back this time. I have learnt to live with or without hair. It does not define me. I wear wigs, beautiful wigs. I would have a room full of them if I could afford it. A dream is having a wig shop...wigs and accessories. Yep, got to win Lotto ! Another dream is to write a book and have it published. You can tell right ? Yet the Eczema continues to define me in some way.
Where does strength come from ? I believe it comes from never giving up, adjusting when you must, always look back to see how far you have come and keep the dreams.
Learn to bounce back. A wise old lady once told me " Don't stay in the valley of indecision for too long, learn to make a decision whether it be right or wrong make it. Otherwise it causes anxiety, and anxiety won't grow your hair."
So I guess Strength is a Decision we make.
